FAQ's: Will Our Deceased Loved Ones Wait For Us in the Spirit World?

Q: I am very puzzled about reincarnation because I have heard many accounts from others that a person will reincarnate, but that only a certain percentage of their soul does this, and the remaining part remains in the spirit world, retaining the majority of its thoughts and memories. Do you agree? If so, could you explain how this is possible? I guess my main concern is that my deceased loved one passed two years ago and I'm afraid he will reincarnate before I get there. He would not do so willingly, but my impression is that many are coerced into reincarnation, just as they are forced to come back if it is "not their time" as stated in so many near death experiences.

A: I'm so sorry about your loved one, I understand exactly how you feel.

It's true, however, what you have read and heard about the soul. From many sources I've heard also that we, as souls, are so much huuuger and more enorrrmous than we could fathom. Each complete soul is so gigantic, and made up of many parts.

One of these parts, the Higher Self, remains up in the spirit world and guides us. The Higher Selves of all people who are on earth can be in touch with each other in the spirit world if they want to be. Your Higher Self continues to be in touch with your loved one and his Higher Self while you are living your life on earth, the result is that occasionally you might feel some sort of contact from him, receive some sort of information from him that can help you out, etc. You would get this communication usually either in the form of some thought or knowing or idea that just seems to "pop" into your head at some time, or you might actually feel like your loved one is "talking" or whispering to you on occasion.

However, you might have had experiences where it feels like you are, perhaps, even in the spirit world yourself, while you are sleeping or meditating, or it might feel like all of a sudden a cloud was lifted from your head and all of a sudden you were aware of so many things that you used to not know anything about. And then it might seem like everything comes clear – but only for a little while. And then it seems like the cloud comes down and fogs your vision and understanding again, and everything that had seemed so clear for a short period is now a muddle again, like if you had been reading a paper and you could read it, and now all of a sudden it has gone out of focus again.

Well, it might happen that during this short period of lucidity, you might suddenly realize that the part of you that is living a life on earth is only just a small fraction of you, which you identify as your "consciousness" and which only includes the part of you that is aware of the things that you think you are aware of. But that, in addition to this small part of you, you might suddenly realize that there is a HUGE, large part of you that you are NOT normally aware of as you go about your everyday life, and that this very large part that you don't usually notice or think about every day, is still nonetheless a part of you too.

And that the part of you which is living on earth and doing "its thing", making dinner, taking a shower, catching the bus, etc., is ONLY the small part of you that you identify as your "consciousness". But at this moment, for example, there is a large part of you that is up in the spirit world right now, being alive and chatting with your loved one and doing "its thing" up there, the only thing is that you are not aware of it right now.

It is as if, life were only a dream, and just as happens in a dream, while you are dreaming, there are so many things you are not aware of or that you forget. You might, for example, dream that you are living in a house that in "real" life you actually moved out of five years ago. But in your dream you aren't aware of that, while you are dreaming your dream you believe you are still living in that old house.

Imagine that you were lying on a bed, for example, and you decided to send a small part of you, say, your hand, out to live a life on earth while the rest of you remained lying on your bed. So your hand goes out to live in the world, and you are focusing all your attention on your hand and all the things that happen to it, how it should react to the things that happen to it, what it should do, where it goes, etc. While you are paying keen attention to your hand, you aren't paying too much attention to your feet of course, which are lying happily on the bed, or on your other hand, etc. When your hand that is living a life on earth gets confused and doesn't know what to do, it might go still and lie still and be silent for a while, and try to receive some message from you. At that point, your brain might send it a message telling it what to do. Your mind is also lying on the bed, and it is like your hand's Higher Self.

Sometimes you might even decide to send two hands out into the world to live a life at the same time! Then you will have to focus your attention on both hands at the same time, and each hand will be unaware of the other hand. But your mind is aware of both hands and what they are doing.

So it is that people can even live two lives or incarnations on earth simultaneously! One of these incarnations could be a consciousness called Lola, and it is living its life and is totally unaware of the other hand, which is living somewhere else with a different name and a completely different set of circumstances. Lola isn't aware of all of this now, but when she goes into the spirit world, she will recover awareness of her mind which is in the spirit world, and also become aware that the other hand is down on earth living a life.

But anyways, to answer your question about your loved one. Don't worry. First of all, chances are, he won't reincarnate or want to reincarnate for a pretty long period of time, especially if he lived a full, long life. People usually need to stay in the spirit world for a fairly long time in order to think over and reflect on the life that they just lived and assimilate the lessons they learned in it. And the fuller and longer that lifetime, the more time they need in the spirit world.

Usually people who have lived a long, full life won't want to reincarnate for a long time, unless some unusual and special circumstance should be about to occur on earth and they want to take advantage of it. For example, a lot of souls wanted to incarnate on earth so that they could use the special energy of the change in millennium to help them with their evolution. In that case, a soul that had just ended a life in, say, 1970, might want to reincarnate again in 1980 so that they could be an adult during the change in millennium.

But as I was saying, chances are, your loved one, especially if he lived a long, full life, will probably want to stay for a long time up in the spirit world now and rest and recharge as well as go over all his life lessons. No one is "forced" to return against their will. However, your spirit guides might "pressure" you into returning if they see a particularly appropriate set of circumstances coming up on earth for you. But it is always YOU who makes the final decision on ANYTHING concerning the lifetime that you will live. Including things such as whether or not you will be disabled, be unusually ugly or beautiful, be homosexual with all the social challenges that such a situation usually entails, etc.

In the case that he should decide to reincarnate before you join him up there, he will only send down to earth the portion of him that he needs to carry out his purpose in that next incarnation. He will choose the talents and skills that he needs, the interests that he needs. I was surprised to discover that we even choose our intelligence level before we incarnate. But it only makes sense, of course, up in the spirit world we all have access to infinite intelligence, so we choose how much of this infinite intelligence we will take with us as our intelligence level. If you need to be highly intelligent in order to carry out your tasks in a lifetime, you will be born very intelligent.

As with talents that you develop voluntarily, I imagine that we can also develop and raise the amount of intelligence that we can be allotted by developing our intelligence in lifetime after lifetime, I suppose, so that I imagine that a person who chooses to be, say, a scholar, scientist or writer in lifetime after lifetime will probably get more intelligent with each life as opposed to, perhaps, say a person who is maybe a highway repairman or a cleaning lady in every lifetime. (Not saying that highway repairmen or cleaning ladies are not intelligent but rather, that these aren't jobs that usually allow you to develop your intelligence and potential and they are usually the sorts of positions that usually highly intelligent people feel forced to accept because they need a job urgently, and not because it is their vocation or their dream.) But that's just my speculation.

So as I was saying, in the case that your loved one should decide to reincarnate before you return to the spirit world, he will only take the parts of him that he will need for that new life along with the consciousness that he needs in those parts of him. The rest of him will stay in the spirit world, where of course he will know and remember who you are perfectly when you arrive there, and you will be able to enjoy your time with the parts of him that remain in the spirit world, even while a part of him is living a new life on earth.

(I might add that when the small part of you that is living a life on earth "dies" and returns to the spirit world, you regain all your memories and then you remember all the people from all your previous lifetimes, as well as all your loved souls who had chosen not to reincarnate at this moment and had remained in the spirit world all the time.)

(The person who asked me the question then replied to me, and I would like to publish my answer here):

I am very appreciative of you answering my questions. It sounds like reincarnation doesn't completely 'annihilate' the soul at all.

A: Thank you. Oh no, the soul cannot be "annihilated", it is immortal. The only thing that happens to it is that it moves to a different plane of existence. It's like going to school, and being on earth is like being in elementary school. When you graduate from elementary school, you move on to a different school, high school. But you still exist, and if you have some friends in elementary school who were a grade or two below you, or who failed their last year, they will still eventually finish elementary school, pass the last year and also move on to high school, where you are already studying, and you will be able to see them and be with them again when they join you in high school.

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